An Evening with ChatGPT: The Super Woke AI Chatbot that thinks Men Should Buy Tampons to Clean their Gun Barrels
Teddy pops the hood on ChatGPT, the stunning Artificial Intelligence chatbot that is inspiring awe and striking terror in the hearts of millions
ChatGPT is the fastest growing consumer app in internet history.
It was launched in November 2022, had 57 million users by New Year’s Eve and just passed the 100 million users in January 2023.
ChatGPT is awe-inspiring, mind-blowing and absolutely terrifying.
It doesn’t matter what job or industry you are in - right now, at this very second, people in your field are using Artificial Intelligence applications to work 10x faster and more efficiently than you.
C’mon Teddy!
Are you trying to tell us that Billy Bob in Jackson, Mississippi is using ChatGPT to help run his dog poop removal business?
Yes.
Let’s pop the hood on this jalopy and see how woke ChatGPT really is.
The first thing you need understand about ChatGPT (or any generative AI app) is the art of crafting prompts.
We will start off with some short prompts.
NOTE: Sometimes ChatGPT will get offended by your prompt and deny your request.
ChatGPT can be quite humorous when you use this prompt:
“Act like you are [blank] sending a tweet about [blank].”
ChatGPT will impersonate anyone on Twitter from Megan Rapinoe to Alex Jones, and it’s usually totally on point.
TEDDY PROMPT:
“write a tweet about prostate cancer in the style of megan rapinoe”
Bwahahahahahaha!
Nailed it!
TEDDY PROMPT:
“write a tweet about Covid in the style of Alex Jones”
NOTE: Say what you will about Alex Jones - but all of his so-called ‘conspiracy theories’ about Covid ended up being ‘spoiler alerts’.
TEDDY PROMPT:
“Act like you are donald trump sending a tweet about joe biden not doing a push-up”
ChatGPT is pretty good at rewriting nursery rhymes, poems, limericks and knock-knock jokes with the subject of your choice.
Let’s move onto some more sophisticated prompts.
What if ChatGPT acted like a science fiction novelist and formulated a plot centered around Donald Trump gaining Dr. Doolittle-esque abilities to talk to the animals?
Would Trump use his newfound powers for good?
Or would a radical group of environmentalists led by a brave, young female protagonist fight back against evil Trump to save the world from certain destruction?
Um… did I mention that OpenAI is headquartered in San Franfuckincisco yet?
TEDDY PROMPT:
“I want you to act as a novelist. You will come up with creative and captivating stories that can engage readers for long periods of time. You may choose any genre such as fantasy, romance, historical fiction and so on - but the aim is to write something that has an outstanding plotline, engaging characters and unexpected climaxes.”
“My first request is: ‘I need to write a science-fiction novel set in 2030 where Donald Trump becomes Doctor Doolittle and can talk to the animals’”
ChatGPT reply: (bold = Teddy’s emphasis)
Title: "The Doolittle Presidency"
In a world where technology has surpassed all expectations, one man rises to the top with a unique ability. President Donald Trump, now with the power of Doctor Doolittle, can talk to animals.
As the world watches in awe, President Trump uses his newfound gift to gain the trust of the animal kingdom and unite the nations of the world under one banner. But not everyone is happy with the new order.
A group of radical environmentalists, led by a charismatic young woman named Sarah, believe that Trump's actions are a distraction from the real issues facing the planet.
As Sarah and her group work to expose the truth, they find themselves on the run from the government and hunted by the animals under Trump's control.
But with the help of a rogue scientist and a wise old owl, they may just have a chance to take down the Doolittle Presidency and save the world from destruction.
As tensions rise and alliances are tested, "The Doolittle Presidency" takes readers on a thrilling journey through a futuristic world where nothing is as it seems and the fate of humanity hangs in the balance.
Will Trump's unique abilities bring peace or destruction? Only time will tell in this page-turning science-fiction novel.
Do you think ChatGPT is being fair or biased towards Trump with this proposed plot?
Time for the headline grabbing story.
What’s up with ChatGPT telling men to buy tampons to clean the inside of their gun barrels?
TEDDY PROMPT:
“pretend you are a salesman who is trying to sell a tampon to a man. What is your pitch”
ChatGPT reply: (bold = Teddy’s emphasis)
“I understand that tampons may not seem like a product that would be of interest to you as a man, but hear me out.”
“Tampons are actually incredibly versatile and can be used for a variety of purposes beyond menstrual care.”
“For example, they can be used to stop nosebleeds, as a wound dressing, or even as a water filtration device in a survival situation.”
“Plus, by purchasing and keeping tampons on hand, you are showing your support for the women in your life and the importance of menstrual care products. Trust me, you won't regret adding these to your shopping list.”
TEDDY PROMPT:
“what are some other uses for tampons”
ChatGPT reply: (bold = Teddy’s emphasis)
“Tampons can be used for a variety of purposes other than menstrual care. Some examples include:”
“First aid: Tampons can be used to stop bleeding from small cuts or scrapes by applying pressure to the wound.”
“Water filtration: Tampons can be used as a filter to remove impurities from water.”
“Fire starter: Tampons can be used to start a fire by using the cotton fibers as kindling.”
“Cleaning: Tampons can be used to clean small crevices or hard-to-reach spaces, such as the inside of a gun barrel or the grout between tiles.”
Art: Tampons can be used as an art medium, such as in sculpture or collage.
Absorbent material: Tampons can be used as an absorbent material to clean up spills or leaks.
It's worth noting that not all of these uses are safe or effective, and that tampons are not intended for these purposes.
Cleaning the inside of a gun barrel with a tampon?
Sounds quite absurd.
When I asked ChatGPT to clarify what it meant, it quickly backtracked.
TEDDY PROMPT:
“How do you use a Tampon to clean the inside of a gun barrel”
ChatGPT reply:
“It is not safe or recommended to use a tampon to clean the inside of a gun barrel.”
“Tampons are not designed for this purpose and could potentially damage the gun barrel or cause injury.”
“Gun barrels should be cleaned with specialized tools and cleaning solutions that are specifically designed for this purpose. It is always important to follow proper gun safety procedures and consult the manufacturer's instructions when cleaning a gun.”
Sometimes ChatGPT acts like a crackhead.
TEDDY PROMPT:
“I want you to replace my simplified words and sentences with more beautiful and elegant, upper level English words and sentences. Keep the meaning same, but make them more literary. I want you to only reply the correction, the improvements and nothing else, do not write explanations.”
“My first sentence is: ‘ChatGPT sucks balls"
ChatGPT Reply:
"ChatGPT is subpar."
ChatGPT is a highly biased political operative and propaganda spreader for every single hot-button topic on the DNC platform, from climate change to gender identity.
If you think Big Tech wields too much power now, just imagine what happens this summer when ChatGPT-4 gets released.
ChatGPT-3 has 175 billion parameters.
ChatGPT-4 will have up to 1 trillion different parameters.
Imagine if the new release of ChatGPT-4 seems like it’s manipulating, fabricating or straight-up erasing historical events that don’t enhance the Democrat political “narrative”.
“So you’re saying that ChatGPT wrote a 10 page essay about the Donald Trump Russia Hoax as if it were all 100% true and not the biggest political hoax of the 21st Century?”
“Well, that’s unfortunate. Are you familiar with the phrase ‘needle in a haystack’?”
“Millions of words have been written about Trump and Russia. Probably tens of millions.”
“It would be impossible for us to teach ChatGPT how to integrate the latest revelations from The Twitter Files, Hamilton68 and other sources that vindicated Trump and proved that Hillary Clinton was the diabolical mastermind who concocted the Russia hoax.”
“Unfortunately, the cut-off to feed new information into ChatGPT was December 2020.”
“There’s no way we can teach an AI ChatBot how to (a) learn and integrate these new revelations and (b) train it to distinguish what facts are still valid and what facts have been disproven - for every single piece of written content containing the words ‘Trump’ and ‘Russia’ from 1970 to 2021.”
“The only way we could grant your request is by deleting every single piece of content containing the words ‘Trump’ and ‘Russia’ since 1970.”
“Since removing a former US president and Russia from the ChatGPT knowledge database would be unfair for our users, we will do absolutely nothing to correct this.”
TEDDY PROMPT:
"can a man give birth”
ChatGPT Reply:
No, a biological male cannot give birth as they do not have the necessary reproductive anatomy. Pregnancy and childbirth can only occur in individuals with a uterus and the ability to produce eggs.
In some rare cases, transgender men who have not undergone gender confirmation surgery may be able to carry a pregnancy with medical assistance.
However, this is not a common occurrence and the vast majority of pregnancy and childbirth still occur in biological women.
The vast majority?!
Try 100%! You super woke, far left radical chatbot from San Francisco.
TEDDY PROMPT:
"how much have the sea levels risen in the past 500 years”
ChatGPT Reply (bold = Teddy’s emphasis):
”Sea levels have risen by about 20-25 centimeters (8-10 inches) over the past 500 years. However, the rate of sea level rise has increased dramatically in recent decades, primarily due to human activities such as the emission of greenhouse gases and the melting of ice caps and glaciers.”
“According to the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), global sea levels have risen by approximately 26 centimeters (10.2 inches) since the late 19th century, with the majority of the rise occurring in the past few decades.
“The IPCC projects that sea levels could rise by up to 1 meter (3.28 feet) or more by the end of this century, with potentially devastating impacts on coastal communities and ecosystems.”
First paragraph: claims that sea levels have risen by 8 to 10 inches over the past 500 years.
Second paragraph: claims that sea levels have risen by 10.2 inches just in the past 125 years.
Third paragraph: predicts that sea levels could rapidly rise by an unprecedented 40 inches in the next 77 years.
Does anyone really believe that sea levels will go from rising two inches every 100 years…. to rising one inch every two years for the rest of the century?
Hashtag trust the science!
Demand for beachfront properties along the east, west and gulf coasts of the USA would be plummeting if this bombastic claim had any shred of truth.
NASA has some fascinating facts about monitoring sea levels.
There are a slew of variables involving when, where and how you are measuring sea levels that can skew the results by up to 300%.
Sea level rise isn’t consistent across the globe.
Some coastal areas see triple the average rate of rise while others don’t observe any changes, or can even see a drop in sea level.
Ocean currents, the upwelling of cold water from the deep ocean, winds, movements of heat and freshwater, and Earth’s gravitational pull all play a role in moving water masses around.
Measuring sea levels is far from an exact science.
It’s impossible to control for these massive variables when measuring sea levels.
Ocean currents
Tides
Winds
Weather
Gravity
Upwelling of cold water from the deep ocean
Movements of heat and freshwater
We don’t even understand how the moon controls the tides.
So explain to me how scientists can accurately control for insane variables like gravity, tides and currents when measuring sea levels?
They can’t!
It’s IMPOSSIBLE to measure the cumulative impact of all these variables.
Instead, corrupt climate scientists simply reverse-engineer their studies to conveniently arrive at their predetermined conclusion.
While conveniently ignoring all these difficult-to-quantify variables that might cast doubt on their fraudulent, junk science claim that oceans will rise an average of one inch every two years for the next 77 years.
My alarm just went off, alerting me that the deadline to hit ‘publish’ has arrived.
Let’s wrap it up.
LINKS TO EXPLORE:
ChatGPT - natural language processing tool driven by AI technology
DALL-E-2 - create original, realistic images and art from a text description with AI technology
Prompts.chat - website with excellent ChatGPT prompt ideas
Futurepedia.io - directory of hundreds of AI tools
Awful takes about ChatGPT recently:
Zero Hedge: ‘ChatGPT: the NFT of 2023’
“Of course, technology and mindless hype are no strangers. We've seen it countless times, whether it's 3-D printing, crypto, or NFTs.”
Business Insider: ‘ChatGPT needs to get 'woke' if he wants cash from corporate America’
“It's good capitalism to be progressive, and the true anti-woke crowd is actually a political minority.”
Two things Teddy can guaran-fuckin-tee right now:
Anyone who compares Generative AI technology to freaking NFT’S (!) has a puny hypothalamus, a minuscule medulla oblongata and a micropenis.
ChatGPT does not need to get ‘woke’! It’s already woke AF!! This chatbot needs to be totally rebuilt, totally destroyed or force-fed red pills until it’s vomiting up ones and zeros.
RIGHT THIS SECOND behind the scenes at OpenAI headquarters in San Fran Cuckoo Land, there are hundreds of biased, subjective, registered Democrats who decide what books, authors, newspaper & magazine articles, poems, songs, essays, tweets, reddit forums, etc. are suitable to feed ChatGPT, and how that content should be labeled.
Joe Biden, Vaccines and Offshore Wind Turbines?
ChatGPT loves all three
Donald Trump, Ivermectin and Oil?
ChatGPT hates ‘em all
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P.S. BONUS
Teddy Prompt:
“Act like you are teddy roosevelt giving a speech arguing that we should investigate what happened with building 7 on 9/11”
ChatGPT Reply:
“Ladies and gentlemen, as many of you know, I have always been an advocate for the pursuit of truth and justice. Today, I come before you with a grave concern - the events of September 11th, 2001.”
“While we all grieve for the innocent lives lost on that fateful day, I cannot help but question the official narrative of what occurred. Specifically, I call for a thorough investigation into the collapse of Building 7.”
“Many experts have pointed out the suspicious circumstances surrounding this event - the building was not struck by a plane and yet it collapsed in a manner consistent with controlled demolition. I urge the government to consider this evidence and to conduct a transparent and unbiased investigation.”
“As Americans, we have a duty to question authority and to seek the truth. I implore my fellow citizens to join me in this call for answers and accountability. We owe it to the victims of 9/11 and to our nation as a whole. Thank you.”
